In looking at my blogs, and my life in general, I can observe that I frequently go from a good mood to a bad mood. This is why yet another change for the positive did not seem to be a large shift, and it appears as only a matter of time till I revert back.
However, I believe that this time I have acknowledged some elements and made some changes that will allow this positive swing to remain in place. It is difficult for me to define this change, as I was never deemed to have any specific attitude problem. However, this does not prevent me from examining myself and making some observations.
This does not paint a positive picture. II did often work hard and succeed, but this was not my only source of happiness. It seems that things went my way when I was in a bad medical or social situation and required help. I may also blame my tendency to aim to find pity on the success portrayed by the media. The responsible culprit is unimportant because this disposition isn’t even certain. I believe I have frequently just been lazy and waited for others to help me.
I know this attitude is very immature. I know I have matured and now take active steps to avoid this attitude. However, this is not always easy to do, as I believe much of this behavior is subconscious. It can be as simple as forgetting where I put something to seem unfortunate and feel success in finding it.
I acknowledge that the human species (yes, I acknowledge that I may be included in it) has itself as a primary interest. We only help others to the extent that helping them will not hinder ourselves. I would like to say that I take steps no matter what, but the only way I differ is in believing that others would always do what I wanted merely because I seemed needy. I am no longer willing to accept this attitude.
I am not saying that there is nothing I want to change, nor am I saying that I am very content. I will, however, attempt to make the best of things, an attitude I have always seem to have, but didn’t embrace (as I did not acknowledge this attitude in myself). I just want to reiterate that I will continue to smile, and am certain that I will find more happiness by seeking it myself.